“Well, actually…”

‘Look, there it is, do you see it? The tank.’

Two men are deep in conversation. One is pointing to the nearby carpark where a camouflaged vehicle rests on the back of a flatbed truck. From nearby another man interrupts their conversation:

‘Well, actually that’s not a tank, it’s an armoured vehicle.’

The original speaker turns towards him, scornfully. ‘Oh, you’re probably too young to remember these.’

‘That’s not the point. It’s not a tank.’

There’s a model exhibition being held this weekend at the café overlooking the slipway in Saltash. The above conversation is being held between a group of middle-aged or older men of a certain type.

I’m tempted for a moment to join in, even though I’ve just caught this exchange in passing as I head back home. It’s a quiet Sunday morning, just starting to spit with rain, and from the weather radar I know the rain will soon get heavier.

‘Tank/ armoured vehicle? Nerd/ geek? Po-tato/ Po-taht-o?’

But naturally I don’t actually say anything.

Meanwhile there are four young swans swimming around aimlessly in the vicinity of the café wondering when anyone is going to throw some food in their direction. Sadly, I don’t feel the nerds (or geeks) are going to pay them much attention. They’re too busy arguing over the etymology of their toys.

* 

Swans offer their own dichotomy, which is one of the things I find fascinating about them. Their eyes, inefficiently (perhaps) attached to the sides of their head, are small, round, black things that give them an eternal child-like demeanour. Stare close at the eyes (or eye, you can’t see both up close as they’re on different sides of their head) and you really feel that. But the markings on their face that blend in to where the eyes are, are also black, against what is a predominantly white skin.

When viewed as a whole it gives them a permanently angry expression – pissed off, describes it best for me – and perhaps accounts for the reason why some people dislike or are scared of swans.

When swans move across the water, sometimes they remind me of Daleks. It’s because you don’t see their legs. Of course swans – unlike Daleks – can climb up stairs, although only awkwardly. Dry land really doesn’t suit them.

I wonder if there are any Daleks in the model exhibition? I guess I’ll never know. I’m heading back home before the rain sets in.

 


 

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